About time for another deep, dark fat girl confession session...of the do you still love me variety.
1. I routinely cuss out sweet little old ladies (and various other folk) while driving.
2. I have been known to go to the health food store just to buy chocolate.
3. Apparently I never got over being afraid of the dark cause sometimes when I am getting ready to sleep I map out a path to the bed, flick off the light and shut my eyes. Run blind and dive. Pull the blankets over my head. (Blankets are the ultimate protection against all things lurking in the dark of your room if you weren't aware.) Realize I was holding my breath. Big exhale. Pathetic.
4. Fairly often I hear some variation of the following: "You said what I was thinking, only I didn't say it because I didn't want to be a bitch." I stamp these moments with a big happy face and place them in the thanks for the compliment file.
5. If I could afford to I would pay someone to wash my hair for me. Daily. Maybe more than once. Preferably a hot, naked someone.
6. From time to time I listen to the same song over and over and over again. To the point of making other people wish they could punch me in the side of the head. Thankfully no one does.
7. Every now and again I wad up the blankets and an extra pillow and snuggle down into them so I can pretend I am not sleeping all by my lonesome. It doesn't really work very well. Doesn't stop me from trying though. What a loser.
So what's the verdict? Still love me?
It's ok if ya don't...
4 comments:
mom still loves ya!! mom confession- i don't like to sleep with my butt toward the outside of the bed because that something in the dark might pinch it!!
I still love you. I'm terrified for the dark also.
that was supposed to be *of the dark. I'm terrified *of the dark. I suck.
Uh, mom, that "something" in the dark in your case is probably one of the people you have leftover in your room from hosting the weekly group sex party. You're supposed to make them leave after you finish. Just a heads up.
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