Day at work yesterday was surreal. Frustrating. Depressing.

Ick.

To the point where I apologized to my patient about 100 times in the course of his treatment and left nearly in tears at how horrible the situation that I was prolonging.

Sad.

But today away from work and not even entertaining the idea of going in. Especially in light of the schedule for next month that has me either working, on-call, or both nearly everyday.

Except the ones where we are going on vacation.

Oh, vacation. You little light in the middle of the tunnel.

Today need to find a calendar for 2010 (!) and get a memory stick and maybe a case for my new Christmas camera.

After that contemplate the bank balance and possibly get a pedicure and snag some Indian food for lunch.

Please spend your day today doing something sweet and nice, ok ?

How is it Christmas this week ? Already ? Srsly ?

Wow.

Last week at work was insane and long and vaguely traumatizing.

Day off today. Using the little get up and go available to catch up the laundry and make a run to the store for boring, boring, necessary things.

I love me some pre-holiday last-minute shopper crowds so odds are 60/40 someone gets kicked in the shin and you get a call to come bail me outta jail.

Happy Holidays !

Today the man that I love got up and started laundry (which may have all come off of my bathroom floor ) and made me a cup of coffee when I managed to stumble out of bed hours later. He also made blueberry muffins still more hours later when I could actually be classified as awake and not just out of bed.

He's nice.

Perhaps yesterday's 15 hour shift, spent shoving around a rolling cart with a bum wheel piled up with a dialysis machine, supplies, and a water treatment system, fueled by Diet Coke and peanut butter crackers, may begin to explain this wiped out feeling that has kept me in bed most of the day.

( Please don't mind that run-on sentence or the thousand commas is contains. Thanks )

And now am washing down a bowl of vegetable soup with a double shot mug of emergen-c and thinking about wrapping packages since my sweet family will be here next weekend for a Texas-style early Christmas jam.

Plaid paper, a three-pack of Scotch tape, and bad Saturday night network television with my name all over them.

If I can manage to stay out of bed.

Today I am throwing all of my faith into the idea that bathing, grooming, putting on something other than scrubs or pajamas, having some caffeine, and going out into the world will be good for me.

Wish me luck.

Happy Sunday.

Stuffed full of warm chocolate chip cookies and a taste of cold milk and hiding inside from the chill and the damp.

My live-in is packing up dishes and glassware we don't need and I am basking in the smugness of completing such grown-up financial tasks as consolidating 401(k)s, securing mortgages, and submitting expense receipts to my employer for reimbursement.

Now if I could master other things like putting away my laundry, or having the oil in my car changed on time, or even hanging my coat up in the closet when coming in from being out - we'd really be cooking.

Have a pressing need to climb back into bed for a nap and try not to obsess about work tomorrow or the difficult doctor/family combination that will be waiting to greet me bright and early.

For dinner we are having turkey pot pies and not the kind that come out of the freezer in a red and white box.

I'd share one with you if you came over and brought some wood for the fire.