I like the first day of fresh sheets. Have two sets of fairly nice organic cotton ones. These cost more than my pathetic life is worth, but mmmm. Strip one set off, pull the other outta the chest at the end of the bed. Soft and snuggly and smells a little like cedar. Lately have been catching an afternoon nap. Go to bed kinda late, get up kinda early. Crash for about an hour right after class lets out. The cat likes this schedule. So do I. We are going to spend a quiet evening at home, the cat and I. Eat a little dinner, tidy up the house a bit. Listen to some music, put away newly clean laundry. Read a decent sized chunk of nursing blather. Nothing too ambitious. Wanna come snuggle with us?

Several things: a) My mom has two new kittens. I tried to get her to name them cunnilingus and fellatio, but she didn't go for it. They are adorable little things anyway. b) I can already pick out the girls in my class who are going to drive me insane. There are three of them. Triumvirate of recent sorority alums. Avoidance is key. c) I stumbled across the realization today that I get a 5 day fall break in October. Sa-weet. d) I should really be doing the dishes, doing my laundry, or studying right now rather than writing pointless blog entries. Guess I'll get to that.

Adventures in poverty

My job is ass. Latest example: one of my managers had a boy come to work with a confirmed case of mononucleosis and expose us all to it so she wouldn't have to work on Friday. Because your three day weekend is so much more important than the health of an entire staff of people with no health insurance. Fuckin' shit. And of course I am just being ridiculous for being upset about it. In fact I don't even rank high enough for you to return my phone calls. So I turned in my two weeks. And now gotta find a new job. Lovely. Deliver pizza? Wait tables? Scan groceries? Maybe if I drop 25 pounds or so on my new no money for food diet I can get into sex work. Stripper, call girl, escort, whatever. I know: I'll become a madam. Get a few girls, put an S&M dungeon in the basement. Management position. Mo' betta.

First day o' class today. Not bad. Need to settle back into a routine. Do much better with more time filled, more structure. Less vodka and brooding. Mature, eh? Lab partner assignments today. Me n the kinda strange girl. Has been pointed out to me it probably is the two strange girls getting stuck together. "Overdose Twins." Gee, thanks, love. Will save the extended rant floating in my head RE: Emergency Contraception. Summary: Nonprescription sales. Excellent. Age limit. Bah. Thankfully for you all I now have a class full of nursing students who are going to be subjected to my women's health and sex ed rants. Not so lucky for them. Though at least they won't then be surprised by the candy dish of condoms in the living room when they come over for a study session.

Crankalicious

Cranky. Cranky. Cranky. Me. Hey, financial aid office, get your shit together. Please. There isn't a few grand sitting around waiting for me to just sign it over to you. And hey, people I work for and with. Stop sucking. The next time I get cussed out because you are incompetent and lazy, we're gonna box. And along those same lines, if you want something from someone who works in the service industry, ask nice. 'Cause I sure as hell don't get paid enough to do shit for you if you're an ass about it. And hey, crazy ex, guess what, I don't want to talk to you. It kinda creeps me out so just stop. And anyone else who thinks they may want to get in line to get on my nerves, hey, don't do it. Long wait and it really isn't all that rewarding. Unless getting kicked in the shin really does something for ya.

Bah!

Yesterday. At work. Ran some dirty construction workers clothes through the housekeeping laundry. Made some grocery money. Hey, there are much worse things to do with dirty construction workers in order to eat. Things that pay better. So shut it down. School starts. Next week. Panic attack please stay at a low level. If you would please check in on me occassionally over the next four months it would be appreciated. Not much time for me to come up for air. Make sure I'm coping relatively well. Limiting the consumption of vodka to one night a week. Tuesday. Come over any Tuesday night and there is likely to be vodka. No food in the house, but vodka. You're welcome to some. Hey, I know. We'll do it like a food drive...bring a grocery item get a shot of vodka. Sound good?

Wednesday

Furry alarm clock. 6 am without fail. Doesn't care was up til two studying, am in his spot. Problem is wherever I lay it is his spot that morning. Head butt, tail in the face. Yowl. Fuckin' cat. Roll over. Purrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Light streaming in the windows. Blankets all asunder. T-shirt twisted in a crazy way. Stretch, straighten. Laze. Let the day get some age on it before rolling out. Little blip from the cell. Sweet good morning from someone dear. Big effort getting vertical, outta the clutches of the bed. Flash in the mirror on the way to the bathroom. Jesus lord whatta mess. But soft, mussy. Not too bad to wake up to today. Putter into the kitchen. Last of the mornings yawns. Joni Mitchell singing softly out the speakers. Put last nights dishes away. Mop the floor with Dr. Bronner's. Scent of peppermint. Pull on some shorts. Make a snack. Cinnamon raisin toast and yogurt with blueberries. Champaka incense, musky haze. Barefeet tucked up under on the couch. Crack the drug dosages workbook. Shoulda been pounding this into my brain starting 'bout a month ago. Coupla chapters. Roll out. Pajamas, no shoes. Pavement warm, but not yet hot. No radio in the car, windows down. Grab the last of the laundry from my parent's empty house. Need to shower now, transition into the clutter and noise of the day. I'll let the water get warm. Start a little steam on the mirror. Come and wash my hair. Hurry up.