Almost

Know that tired cliche about burning the candle at both ends?

Forget ends and let's talk complete thermogenesis.

Have been trying to put in extra hours working in order to have a little cash cushion.

Try not to be obsessive about finals to no avail.

Two more days, two more finals.

Then I'm going to spend the summer with my love.

Talk to me in a week.

You will most likely notice a remarkable improvement in my attitude.*

*Being fed, snuggled, sexed, and tucked into fresh sheets for an extended nap tends to have that effect on a girl.

Cat weighs 17 pounds.

He got on the scale today instead of me.

We need to break up, me and the scale.

Struggle.

I leave for the summer, it stays behind.

My clinical evaluation for the semester is in an hour and twenty minutes.

My stomach feels all churning and gross.

Can't.Focus.

One major paper to finish this semester, due tomorrow morning, and it's a snoozer.

Community health assessment.

Boyfriend suggested livening it up with tales of flesh-eating bacteria leaching out of the sewage treatment plant.

Perhaps.

Also there is a test tomorrow afternoon. S and A will be here soon and we are going to study. If am lucky they will bring me caffeine.

And A will teach me to pop, lock, and drop it.

Possibly the only thing I will actually learn today.

Hard to express the relief at being done with clinicals for the semester.

A quick glimpse into the scenario, pretty much everyday, as we hardly ever spend more than one day in the same place:

Me: Hi. I'm a nursing student from XYZ College. I'm assigned to be here today until x o'clock.

Nurse/receptionist/physician's assistant/etc: (Looking at me like I'm a moron.) Well let me see if I can find where you're supposed to be.

Me: Ok, great, thanks. (fake smile)

Then I stand around awkwardly while they try and decide who's problem I am for the day.

It sucks.

And I am learning that, as a general rule, nurses aren't very nice people.

So, the question: Does nursing make you a raging asshole, or do you become a nurse because you already were a raging asshole?

Guess we'll find out, eh?

P.S. School is almost out and my mind wanders to a much less PG version of the previously posted to do list...

Now if your mind lies in the Devil's workshop
And evil doin's your thrill
And trouble and mischief is all you live for
You know darn well
That you'll go to hell

Good thing I likes it warm...

One day of clinicals, two papers, two tests, and four finals.

That's all.

Chug along, little engine that could.

And hey: This weekend the man I adore is going on this bike ride.

Good thoughts.

Fuck

"The Supreme Court's decision is an affirmation of the progress we have made in the past six years in protecting human dignity and upholding the sanctity of life," Bush said. "We will continue to work for the day when every child is welcomed in life and protected in law."

Unless of course you are a pregnant woman, then your "human dignity" and "sanctity of life" are hereby circumnavigated by your fetus, our dear president, and the fucking Supreme Court.

I fucking love how a bunch of old, rich, white men sit around deciding what women can and can't do with their bodies.

I say again: Fuck.

I am at work, but not working.

Have been quite productive so far as homework and such is concerned.

I've crossed three things off of this week's to do chart already.

And, as per the request of my beloved, have begun the following to do once school stops sucking away at my soul list.

1) Kiss.

2) Have a picnic, on which I will likely drink a bit too much, eat a bit too much, and kiss just the right amount.

3) Go for a bike ride and not-so-sneakily check out my riding companion's ass.

4) Nap.

5) Read a book that has absolutely nothing to do with nursing. Perhaps more than one.

6) Lay in the sun until I start to sweat and feel a little like I might pass out.

7) Take a bath. With candles. And a cocktail. And company.

8) Bake something.

9) Go to the farmer's market.

10) Snuggle.

Three weeks !!!

PSA

Drinking a bottle of wine* does not, indeed, help one to write formal papers.

It does, however, make one feel better and succeed in dulling the stabbing pain in one's uterus when ibuprofen in large amounts has failed.

It also makes you giggle at asinine R&B lyrics, such as, "She be callin' you Kelly, when your name is Tommy."

*In my defense, it does say on the back of the bottle: "The kind of wine that you want to keep on drinking."

P.S.

Next month Brother graduates from KU.

Need a gift idea.

Help !!!

Light

Made a little chart of things that need to be done in the remainder of the semester.

Each week tears off as it passes.

It's not a very big chart.

I like it.

Party, as usual, don't stop

Nursing school has officially sought out and destroyed all of my coping and decision making abilities.

I wander around the grocery overwhelmed by what to buy. I put things in my basket, wander, go back, put them away, get something else.

I have a paper to write, which is not a hard assignment, but I stare helplessly at the laptop screen trying to decide what to write about.

I can't sleep. I exercise sporadically at best. My eating habits have become atrocious. I am ingesting sugar and caffeine in unspeakable amounts.

I cry. Constantly.

I must drive people crazy.

There are two real weeks left in the semester, followed by a week of review for finals, then finals week.

There is no danger of not passing. There is no call to over achievement or top-notch work.

I just have to complete things, turn them in, be done.

And stop being such a self-destructive moper.

So that when school is out I don't have to spend the first two weeks of summer trying to recover. The detox phase right after admission to rehab.

I'm giving myself a little pep talk.

Wish me luck.

Mail

I'm sending this to my brother and sister in the mail.

Sans envelope.

Hi. My name is...

Today at the craphole it's Kyle.

My name tag seems to have disappeared, and honestly no one gives a shit what my name really is so long as I check them in and out of their craptastic rooms.

Have been mildly productive today, doing minor assignments so that tonight can be dedicated to writing the OB paper from hell.

Two sweet young things will be arriving at my house sometime after 3 pm for a pity, uh, I mean, homework, party. Moral support and all that.

I ate an orange for lunch that Boyfriend got for me at Whole Foods last week. It was bright, bright orange and sprayed juice in my eye when I broke it open.

I want some carrots for dinner.

I like to use a lot of commas when writing. Usually have to go back and take some out.

A-1 on my once school is out priority list is a picnic. Possibly with an entire bottle of some sort of bubbly alcoholic beverage. And kissing.

How's your weekend?