Spent the morning practicing CPR on creepy rubber dummies.

Took a killer afternoon nap.

Am waiting for my love to come home from work, bearing gifts.

Think it makes me a bit of a spoiled brat that by gifts I mean a specific salad from a specific restaurant that I want for dinner?

The house is clean. So am I. (I may or may not have just taken a shower for the first time in several days.)

Awaiting the return of my love.

Snuggle and kiss while the radio plays old blues songs.

Eat takeout pizza in bed with football on the tele.

Talk about how I want to get another cat (or two !) soon.

Avoid thinking about going back to work tomorrow and the queasy feeling that goes with it.

Bye bye too short weekend.

Cheers

Happy Birthday to my momma.

I having a bottle glass of sparkling wine.

Here's to you.

Love love.

to snivel or complain in a peevish, self-pitying way

This week they re-opened our unit at work and I was summarily dumped out of orientation and into the fray.

Which rocked so hard since I haven't worked there in two months or so.

Supposedly I should have been listed on the schedule this week as still orienting so that there would be an extra nurse on our floor to help, but if there was she must have been super stealth because I never saw her.

Wednesday I worked with some great, very helpful folk and the night crew coming and going were also so I was fooled into thinking that it wasn't going to be so bad.

Thursday made me not want to go back on Friday and Friday had me going into the bathroom halfway through the shift and bawling for 10 minutes and then taking a computer into the janitorial supply cubby after the night shift arrived to cry and sniffle some more while I finished charting.

The crowning moment was when I needed to administer some blood to one of my patients which a) I know how to do in theory, but have never actually done and b) requires two nurses to verify. In the course of wandering around and calling trying to get someone to help me with this is when I made my above-mentioned bathroom pit stop.

There is too much to do in too little time and too many things that I don't know how to do or even that I am supposed to be doing. And rather than consider this or the fact that I spent half of my orientation with an entirely different patient population than the one we receive everyone seems to assume that I am just lazy or stupid or both.

And be uber passive-aggressive about it.

Rock on assholes that I work with.

Rock on job that I increasingly despise.

Rock on.

Making the Most

Rolled outta bed about 8.

Ate some cereal.

Went for a bike ride with my love.

Ate lunch and went to the Indian Market.

Took a shower, went to the post office.

Am working on ruining my dinner with warm naan slathered with saag paneer.

Tomorrow have to go back to work and my love leaves for California.

Maybe tonight I can work on getting me a little something, something to round out the day.

What you doin'?

Yoga class and a walk leave my muscles feeling warm and supple and used.

Which is a change from the hobbling old lady feeling that has been creeping into my body more and more lately.

Ick.

My love just put on some soft, swingy music and we're gonna have squash and fava beans and salad for dinner.

One more day of vacation left.

Better make it count.

Getting ready to go on an

adventure with my love.

Rocking 80's style mid-calf length leggings and yellow pumps.

Hollaback.

G'morning.

Have eaten half of a muffin and consulted my nursing drug reference to see if am taking the maximum recommended dose of my over-the-counter allergy medication.

Day two of vacation begins.

Ha.

At 10:00 have to go to an hour long "Code of Conduct" training. To include, I am sure, sage advice. (Don't sleep with your patients; Don't sleep with your boss; Don't punch anyone in the mouth no matter how much they deserve it, etc.)

After that am going to do some window shopping and have my toenail polish changed to match an outfit am wearing to a party on Saturday.

I'll spare you the play-by-play for the rest of my day, but know that it is just as glamorous, just as fabulous.

Today is the first of seven in a row with no work. The 8th day will be my first day off of orientation.

Was supposed to get up and go to a staff meeting at 07:30. Managed to drag myself out the door at 07:15. That puts me at my place of employment somewhere between 07:45 and 08:00.

My solution to running late was to drive around the corner to Starbucks, grab a couple of lattes, and come back home. The caffeine has just barely taken the edge off of my fatigue.

Working three twelve hour days (when you figure in drive time and the extra half hour plus that I end up being at work it really is more like a 14 hour day) is hard on my body.

I despise my job right now and seven days away is going to make it hard to go back.

At the same time I still don't have any friends and by the end of seven days will probably be ready to go back just for the human contact.

I feel very lonely and sorry for myself. You may have noticed.

There's a chill in the air and a down comforter on the bed.

I'll be the big lump under the blankets right in the middle, but there should be a little space on either side if you want to crawl in.

Listening to really bad music reminds me that I could be your down ass with my round ass.

Wha..?

Ok.

On the mornings when I have to go to work wake up with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach like a kid who hates her third grade teacher.

All of the nurses from our unit have been "temporarily" (so "temporary" that our unit manager is orienting to work the floor on the same unit as I)reassigned. I'm stuck in the ortho unit which is such total and complete ass.

Ick.

Need to go to the store for hair conditioner and tampons.

Have a yoga class at 4:30.

And these are the most exciting bits of my existence.

Imagine how enthralling all the things I don't write about must be.