After a string of days of completely irrational behavior, crying jags, and mood swings it occurred to me that something might be a little off in my wee brain.

There is a little collection of dietary supplements that I am going to try for a few weeks to see if can at least get a placebo effect working. If not suppose I should go to an actual (gasp !) doctor.

This makes more sense than my initial plan to pack up all of my things and move into a hovel where only Cat would be forced to put up with me and I could wallow undisturbed in my unabashed misery.

Though the current plan is much less dramatic and I should probably just admit the occasional pull towards the more.

Other than my burgeoning mental illness very little is happening.

Pulled a muscle in my back lifting a back of cat litter at Petsmart.

No call-back from potential job for a final interview. If nothing today it probably means they aren't interested. Boo.

Going to one of my favorite little haunts to have lunch with a friend from work.

For dinner planning to make some samosas and dipping sauce.

Maybe between those last two should go to the pool and mentally prepare myself for a weekend of work.

If anyone wants to plan a summer vacation to Texas please do and I promise to try and be sweet and not crazy while you are here.

Love.

The little black cloud that normally hovers just above my head has been increasing in both size and depth of shade for some time now.

This morning after being awake for some time trying to convince myself to go to work called in sick. This was at 3 am.

It was a full 8 hours later when finally I drug myself out of bed.

Calling in depressed is perfectly legitimate, right ?

Should be starting some domestic duties.

If anyone sees my motivation skulking about please send her home straight away.

Thanks.

Waiting to see if there are any nibbles from my job application spree.

Trying to eat more vegetables and move around.

Cleaning out the closet.

All the windows are open and the air smells fresh.

Hello friends.

Today am on a stake-out to find the culprit behind the poo at my front door. No success yet, but I remain hopeful.

Spent the morning applying for jobs. Spreading a large net in hopes of something getting caught. A lot of different things seem interesting and possible and none of them is a strong favorite just yet.

There is a big mess of emotions welling up about the end of my current job coming up and maybe it will start to make sense and turn into words soon, but right now it won't so I'm going to stop trying to force it out.

Going to make a grocery list and wait on a dog instead.

Bye bye.

Good morning.

One of our super terrific neighbors has started letting their dog out to piss and shit on the sidewalk just outside our front door.

No one but me probably remembers the last war of the apartment neighbors that reached its boiling point when some downstairs stoners stole the bag of candy left at Christmas for the mailman, but this has the potential to be just as fun.

People suck so bad.

Also sucking so bad is going back to work tomorrow.

My goal is to have a new job and be making a little more of that paper in 6 weeks.

Wish me luck !

Yesterday morning slept late after too many days of work.

Then last night we had an early dinner, snuggling, sex, shower, more sex, wine, music, more snuggling, sleep.

Thus my mood is somewhat improved from my last posting.

Today starting to apply for jobs. Many jobs. All kinds.

Hopefully someone somewhere is just dying to hire me.

If you know who that might be flag me.

Cranky and wishing I were some other type of mammal with a burrow or a den to crawl into and sulk.

This could possibly be linked to the massive amounts of sugar that I have been taking in lately throwing my metabolism and blood sugar levels into a roller coaster ride or it could just be my usual difficult nature coming on particularly strong.

Or both.

Either way I am not terribly good company so be thankful if you don't live with or near me and sorry if you do.

Bleh.