airplanes are buzzing overhead taking people in and out of the texas heat and someone downstairs keeps beep beep beeping their car alarm set beeper.

earlier today my stomach was knotted and felt like rejecting its contents but instead of puking i took a couple of swigs out of a bottle of mylanta and sat up in bed willing it to be better.

it seems to be now. better.

right now the man i love is asleep in the next room. can hear his breathing in and out and also the smaller, shorter in and outs of the cat next to my hip.

want to wake one or both of them up because i feel lonely but maybe i can try to not be so selfish all of the time.

i feel small and sad for no good reason and wonder what there is to take a couple of swigs of while willing it to be better.