to snivel or complain in a peevish, self-pitying way

This week they re-opened our unit at work and I was summarily dumped out of orientation and into the fray.

Which rocked so hard since I haven't worked there in two months or so.

Supposedly I should have been listed on the schedule this week as still orienting so that there would be an extra nurse on our floor to help, but if there was she must have been super stealth because I never saw her.

Wednesday I worked with some great, very helpful folk and the night crew coming and going were also so I was fooled into thinking that it wasn't going to be so bad.

Thursday made me not want to go back on Friday and Friday had me going into the bathroom halfway through the shift and bawling for 10 minutes and then taking a computer into the janitorial supply cubby after the night shift arrived to cry and sniffle some more while I finished charting.

The crowning moment was when I needed to administer some blood to one of my patients which a) I know how to do in theory, but have never actually done and b) requires two nurses to verify. In the course of wandering around and calling trying to get someone to help me with this is when I made my above-mentioned bathroom pit stop.

There is too much to do in too little time and too many things that I don't know how to do or even that I am supposed to be doing. And rather than consider this or the fact that I spent half of my orientation with an entirely different patient population than the one we receive everyone seems to assume that I am just lazy or stupid or both.

And be uber passive-aggressive about it.

Rock on assholes that I work with.

Rock on job that I increasingly despise.

Rock on.