If you've never been to the bar (that's right, the bar, as in you call someone and say "let's go to the bar!", and there is no need for them to ask, "which one?") in a small Midwestern town you should go. Tonight. Call it an anthropological field study.

Things you may see:
middle aged women falling down drunk and being drug across the floor by their 'friends' on their birthdays while their husbands karaoke an AC/DC song for them
pissed off women coming in to try and drag their men home with little success
a rousing rendition of Pat Benatar's Hit Me With Your Best Shot as Lick Me In My Wet Spot by a not-nearly-drunk enough past middle age woman
$1 Electric Blue Lemonade Shots that I am sure are one part McCormick's, one part kool-aid blue lemonade, and one part antifreeze

One night twice a year or so you may also find me there. Sitting in the corner drinking a Sprite and providing commentary.

Good stuff.

Having spent up all of my good timin' energy for the week on the above mentioned commentary last night I'll be spending Friday half-ass doing homework and eating peanut butter.

And maybe listening to Pat Benatar if you want to know the ugly truth.