This morning was dreaming that found a lump in my breast.

Left.

Tail of Spence, just above the scar from my lumpectomy.

3 am, feeling myself up. Making sure it wasn't really there.

It wasn't.

The word phobia indicates an illogical reaction or unfounded fear, so don't think that my fear of getting breast cancer could exactly be called a phobia.

It does however sometimes put this incredible tightness in my chest.

Also recently discovered that lumpectomy is just kind of a nicer made up word for the real name: partial mastectomy.

Thanks to whoever made up the kind of nicer made up word and kept me from having a complete nervous breakdown when someone was gonna be taking a scalpel and slicing out part of my body.