Today as Roommate and I were determining how deep into winter we can go without turning on the heat she informed me that yesterday, when our paychecks were late, she was complaining.

Seems crazy craphole owner (CCO) was listening on her surveillance system (which by the way is uber creepy and I think actually illegal unless there is some kind of sign posted...).

CCO called and wanted to know what the problem was.

Roommate told her. (ummm...you were supposed to pay us at noon and it's almost five. That's not cool when you pay us as little as you do and we have bills to pay.)

Her response: It can't be that bad...

Nice.

Have you looked at how much you pay us? Would you like to see my monthly budget so that I can justify to you that I would like to be paid on fucking time?

Could you get your head a little bit further up your ass?

(I really do things other than rant, I promise, but jeeeeeezus lady.)

I'm going to accidentally impale one of her breast implants with a letter opener.*

*this does not constitute an actual threat of bodily harm. honest.